For the past six months I have been on a journey of self discovery and study. I decided to embark on a 1,000 hour yoga teacher training through D'Ana Baptiste's Inbody Academy. I am rounding out the program and beginning a mentoring process. I have been so fortunate to have this miraculous opportunity and more benefits have been garnered than I could ever describe. I am lucky enough to volunteer bi-weekly at West Jordan Middle School teaching yoga to a group of lovely middle school children. Teaching brings me great joy and seeing the improvements in these young persons lives is truly breathtaking to watch.
I encourage each one of us to undertake a self-study practice in the new year, however that manifests for you. For me it was through a consistent practice, learning under some incredible instructors, reading a lot, journaling, meditating. I have realized many things about myself that I wanted desperately to change. I have realized that instead of fighting against those things, it was really about letting to rather than accrual. What we resist persists, right? I would like to recommend a book for everyone to read in the new year. It is called "A New Earth". Please read this book. I would love to have people to discuss it with! It has made such an immense difference for me and has been painfully revealing in exposing the grip that the ego mind has on us and how deeply this inhibits us from our happiness potential.
I have learnt that I was a slave to my past, immersed in samskaras (stories one tells themselves over and over and becomes attached to. Particularly lies we tell ourselves, truly), I identified with my past and my manifestation of what that looked like. Our past is really our perception of events. We formulate stories about things in the past to lock us in to these ideas of being a victim, being wronged, the unjustness of it all. I have also realized that the future is merely an illusion; it does not exist. The only thing that is real, not a story or a illusion, is our present. This moment right now. The second you read this sentence it will have passed. Enjoying the present moment without our projections of our past to cloud it with an idea of this worry, fear, obsession with what we will do or what will happen in the future, to truly be present is the idea. When you can look at a tree with complete clarity of thought, immersed in presence, you will truly see its beauty. These moments are, quite sadly, rare. I am quite dedicated to releasing these grips of past and future to enjoy this moment before it passes me by. A thought for the new year, perhaps.
I began this journey because I felt hopeless and lost and wasn't sure of who I was outside of being a wife and mother anymore. I was still grieving. I have become rather disinterested with figuring out who I am and completely interested in the idea of being exactly who I am right now, in this moment. I realize now how often we change and that we are fluid and every thing that we encounter, every person, circumstance, happening changed our consciousness. We are never the same person. Be open to that idea. I encourage everyone to entertain the idea of being open to every experience, conversation, etc. We all sort of bump in to one another and impact each other. You are never the same. I encourage self study but also encourage this release of searching and a submission to just being and living in that space.
It is difficult for me to articulate this experience in a linear fashion because it's anything but. Life is not a beginning, middle and end. It is spiraling. We are spiraling. I know this may all sound like a bunch of hippie, new aged rubbish. Maybe it is, who knows? But if anything I have said resonates with you, let me know! Let's let our consciousness collide a bit!
